"You don't go that way"

This is me, Constantinos, Sing Yi, Kristen and George eating our AMAZING chocolate souffles on Mykonos.  We worked very hard to get these souffles- the place was closed so Constantinos called the owner's mother to have him come open it for us.  Yup.  These Greek men get shit done.

Ok, so as I alluded to before, Mykonos was crazy. We were planning to stay for a day or two, and wound up staying for five. And if Kristen and I hadn't been so gung-ho about getting to Croatia, we would have probably never left. In fact, as far as I know, Sing Yi and Janell are still there!

On the first night when we arrived, we did the normal touristy stuff- we ate along the water, drank ouzo, and went out the the Scandinavian bar (a place for smelly, sweaty Aussies and Albanians). Janell had had quite a crush on our waiter at the restaurant, and later on in the evening, he came to meet us. Janell was clearly going to get home in her own way, and Kristen had already headed back, so Sing Yi and I had to find our way. Thankfully, two guys from Florida who were staying in the same place as us were at the bar and heading back too. The only catch: they had only brought one scooter. But Christos insisted there would be no problem. So the four of us walked to the scooter, and hopped on. Here's how we managed: Christos drove, Sing Yi and I squeezed onto the seat behind him, and the other guy Paul propped himself on the metal thingy on the back. I have never ridden a scooter before (Chris, you owe me a trip on your Vespa!!), and this was a crazy way to begin. Of course Christos had to be macho and take the turns at breakneck speed, and I kept freaking out about the fact that my bare feet were dangling three inches above the ground as we traveled 40 or 50 miles per hour. It must have been the worst for Paul though, without any padding back there... Anyway, we made it back each in one piece, after walking the last steep incline - that poor scooter just couldn't make it. And Sing Yi and I promptly passed out.

Which brings us to.... The day we lost Janell

In the morning, Janell hadn't returned. In a normal circumstance, this wouldn't have really been a problem... but Janell is a free spirit who had decided to travel without her cell phone. Sing Yi did have her 'special friend's' phone number, but none of us had a phone that was charged with minutes on it, and our phone was not accepting a recharge. So we borrowed our Floridian friends' phone to call, but only got a message, and didn't know what number to tell him to call back, since the Florida boys were leaving. I then put the piece of paper with his number on it in a place for safe keeping, and proceeded to lose it. (I found it in my wallet five days later...of course, Elissa).

At this point, the problem was that we had to check out of our room by noon so we could move to the Paraga beach campground where we wanted to stay for the next few nights. So we just packed up our things and all of Janell's and began our trek over to the campground on the other side of the island. It also would have been smart to leave Janell a note telling her where we were going, but by this time none of us was thinking clearly, and we were subconsciously trying to make it as hard as possible for Janell to find us.

By the time we got to Paraga beach, it was late in the afternoon and we still had no idea what to do. But you can't spend all your time worrying right? So Kristen, Sing Yi, and I went to go lie on the beach. Janell's a big girl...she'd find us.

A couple hours later, Kristen had gone up to the pool, Sing Yi was sleeping, and I decided to start doing some yoga on the beach, as I am apt to do. I was in the camel pose when I heard some laughter and heard Sing Yi say "It's yoga." Apparently, a group of guys on the beach were making fun of me. The interesting thing about this was that Sing Yi had pointed over to the group before and singled out one of the guys as good looking. I'd said "I'll give you that, but he's not my type." Now this guy, Constantinos, and a few of his friends came over to the two of us. In about two minutes Sing Yi was in love with Constantinos, and in about three, I was in love with his friend George. I guess that's how it happens on the Islands. Anyway, by the time Kristen came back to the beach about a half hour later, Constantinos and George had agreed to take us all to dinner, and then to help us find Janell.

We kept trying to describe to the two of them who Janell was with. "We think his name was Constantinos too....or Costastinos...Costas???" The boys seemed like they would know everyone on the island, but they had no idea who we were talking about. Still, no rush to find out if Janell was lying passed out naked on a beach somewhere.... So, we went to a beautiful tavern called Petran, and the boys ordered us all kinds of fish we'd never heard of. And a beautiful white table wine, according to Sing Yi, who also just happens to be a sommelier.

Around 10 pm- fully 18 hours after we'd last seen Janell, we went back to the restaurant where Janell's special friend worked. As we approached and pointed to him, Constantinos was like "Oh, Gus?? He's my friend!" He went up to Gus and it turned out Janell was with his roommate at a nearby internet cafe, and had had a fantastic day. When I went into the internet cafe to get her, she was in the middle of her US unemployment interview. Amazing. But she hadn't been worried and told us she'd meet us at the campground later. I was slightly reluctant to leave her again, but we headed out. And when she walked into our tent an hour later, she was like "Oh, you guys were worried? It's a small island....I figured I'd find you."

This is why we love Janell.

Getting adopted

The boys, Constantinos and George, essentially adopted all of us for the rest of the week. They took us to amazing hidden beaches, and out to some really great dinners. And I seriously fell for George. So much so, that he almost convinced me that we shouldn't go through the Balkans, as Kristen and I originally planned.

We were looking at a map of Eastern Europe. Kristen and I showed George how we were planning to take a bus from Athens to Florina (in the very north of Greece) and then travel by bus up through Macedonia, Albania, Montengro, and Croatia. George said "No baby, you don't go that way. That's dangerous. It's bad, it's dangerous." When we pressed him why, all he could really say was that Albanians were not nice, and neither were Macedonians. He pointed to the ferry route from Patras, Greece, to Venice and said "That's why this route exists. You don't go that way." It seems Grecians do not get along with their neighbors very well.

Anyway, between the sun and the beaches, we were almost talked into staying on the islands for an extra week and going directly to Italy. But ultimately, Kristen and I were way too excited to go where few have gone before, and on Sunday morning we left Athens on a bus for Lake Ohrid, Macedonia. And all is not lost...I may just go back to Athens at the end of my trip to see George. If I can't get him out of my head.

Or....I may never come home.

On the next episode of Elissa's Currently-Not-So-Tax-Deductible European Vacation:

-Sam and Sasha, the friendly taxi drivers of Macedonia.
-Kristen and I find the family that her mother stayed with 30 years ago in Ohrid, Macedonia, and get chaffeured around the city for a day.
-Hiking to the top of the old city in Kotor, easily the steepest city I've ever seen.
-We rock the Madonna concert in Budva, Montenegro!!!!

AND I'll be adding pictures!

Greece

Sing Yi, Kristen, and I holding the flowers some French Moroccan boys bought us on Bar St. in Kusadasi, Turkey.

So, by the time we left Turkey, we were happy to go. Yes, it's a beautiful country, but Kristen and I had gotten a little tired of the men in carpet stores calling to us "Hello! I am here! You are looking for me?" and "You are my sunshine....my only sunshine..." Last Friday night we hopped on a bus from Istanbul to Kusadasi, the Turkish port town from which we could make our way to the Greek Islands. Kristen and I brought along two of our girlfriends we had met in the hostel in Istanbul who were also eager to go to the Islands and get out of Turkey. One of the girls, Sing Yi, is an Aussie with a Malaysian passport, and has been traveling in the Shengan countries for almost 6 months. (I didn't know what Shengan was either- it's the European continent, and apparently if you don't have a visa, you're not allowed to travel for more than 3 consecutive months. ) Anyway, Sing Yi was worried that they wouldn't let her on the boat to Samos, the closest Greek Island.

Sure enough, when we arrived at the port on Sunday morning, this awful Turkish woman in the passport control started barking at the top of her lungs at Sing Yi like she was a terrorist. While she was barking, this Turkish man in plain clothes stepped in and started barking back, and then stepped outside to make a phone call on Sing Yi's behalf, probably to the Greek mafia or something. Our boat was supposed to leave in five minutes, and the woman would still not let her through. So Kristen, Janell (the other girl, from LA- actually she lives at Sunset and Detroit, how weird huh?), and I made our way onto the boat without Sing Yi. We sat dejected on the deck of the ferry, which strangely wasn't leaving, but still no Sing Yi in sight.

AND THEN, in a blaze of glory, Sing Yi emerged around the corner of the dock with the Turkish mafia man by her side, and strutted towards us with the sun glistening behind her. I was so excited to see her that I ran down onto the dock and started jumping up and down and leaping all around. Everyone on the boat thought I was crazy, but I have to say it was a glorious moment.

On Samos, where we only stayed for a couple of hours until our ferry to Mykonos came, we met a Kiwi named Dan who took us to a delicious place for lunch (the best food we had had on the trip yet) and sat on a beautiful beach. Dan was a trip, and told Kristen and I that he's going to America in November. So he has invited himself to stay with me for a night on November 2 in LA, which is funny considering that I might not even have a home in LA by then. Hmmm....we shall see. We travel by the seat of our pants.

By Sunday night we were on Mykonos, in a room on the north side of the Island. Kristen and I were only planning to stay on Mykonos for a few days and then island hop and wind up in Athens on Wednesday, but we wound up staying on Mykonos until Friday morning. The stories for why this occurred are very good....and I'm gonna leave you in suspense for now, dear readers.

But suffice it to say that we came to Athens last night, it looks like we're going to spend a rainy day walking around the city here, and then we'll be making our way up into the Balkans.

Tell me how much you want to hear about Mykonos, and maybe I'll tell you :)

Istanbul and the story of Çetin, my new best friend

Cetin's restaurant.  The picture with him is on Kristen's camera.

Hello Friends! I write from Istanbul again! Well, Kristen and I have officially had our first serious adventure with the locals. It all happened just this afternoon, and boy was it awesome. Before I launch into the story that we co-authored, let me just say a few words about the Turkish bath that Kristen and I went to on Tuesday night.

I had no idea what to expect when we arrived, but we were ushered into a locker room, told to take off our clothes and wrap a towel around ourselves, and sent down to the bath. I had been wearing my glasses since we had been on the plane, but since they were going to fog up, I had to take them off. So I was pretty much blind as Kristen lead me across the perilously slippery floor to the marble slab in the middle. This is how a Turkish bath works: you lie naked on the slab and sweat. Then, eventually, a bunch of naked Turkish women with saggy boobs come in and you lie along the edge of the slab while they scrub your skin raw. And they scrub everywhere. There is no shame here in Turkey. I actually kind of don't get that since the women have to walk around outside with their heads covered. Seems like a strange contradiction to me- naked in the baths and completely covered in the world. Anyway, the baths were a rough and tumble introduction to Turkey, and a great activity after having been on a plane all night.

Lots has happened in Turkey over the last four days, and Kristen and I have made some great friends, two of which are traveling with us to the Greek Islands next. But without further ado, I give you, the story of Çetin, told from Kristen's point of view:

We may have accidentally adopted a Turkish child...

*Thıs story was a joint endeavor by Kristen and Elissa
Elissa and I have a new best friend. He is Turkish, he's about 60 years old, and his name is Çetin.
Let's start at the very beginning. After visiting the Topkapi Palace this morning, Elissa and I hit the streets in search of food. Since it's Ramadan, food can be a little difficult to find since not all of the restaurants are open. We looked around for a little while and wound up in front of a restaurant called The Grand Vezir. While we were deciding whether or not to go in, our soon to be best friend, Çetin, introduced himself and asked where we were from. When we told him we were from California his eyes just lit up. He was even more excited to find out that Elissa lives near La Brea, the same area that he had lived in for seven years. Çetin hugged us and invited us into his rug shop for tea, an activity we had been told to avoid, and had so far succeeded at doing.
Once inside, Çetin served us apple tea and we started to chat. As it turns out, not only is Çetin a very friendly Turkish rug store proprieter, he is also a legendary Turkish director in the making. In fact, he has just submitted his first film to Sundance. The title has escaped us (probably because it is very long and complete engrish) but, the hook is something to the effect of: "Be very carefull with your children on vacation. It can be very dangerous."

When Çetin found out that Elissa is a theatre director he was eager to show us his masterpiece, confident that he had just found his ticket to Hollywood. While we waited, Çetin ran to get his laptop and Elissa and I turned to each other, slightly terrified.

Let us describe this movie. First off, it is in English. Very broken English. First shot: the words Hollywood, California flash in bright yellow across the screen. (It was obviously NOT Hollywood. In fact, it is Anatolia, Turkey, which is pretty clear from the Turkish flag awning later in the film.) It begins at the front desk of a five star hotel. A mother and her daughter are checking in. Dun dun dun. Both of these girls have clearly been given some A1 acting instruction. Such as: say "Mommy!" louder, and "look sad". The mother grabs her one laptop bag and makes her way across the lobby, where she is greeted by a suspiciously familiar security guard. Could it be? Çetin? Is that you? The writer, director, AND the star??? AMAZING! For some reason, Çetın the security guard gives the women an entire tour of the hotel and their room, even going so far as to tell them where their towels are in the bathroom.

Note: The sound is terrible in this film. As is the picture. They clearly used the sound on whatever crappy camera they had. So from now on, imagine this as a silent film, with the soundtrack from Jaws, gone wrong.

Anyway, as the story goes, the girls go out to the pool, and the woman leaves her daughter while she goes to get food. When she returns, AAAHHHH!, her daughter, who is suddenly named Judy, is gone!! "No! JUDDDDYYYYY!!!" A huge chase ensues, with the help of Çetin, action hero/security guard. While the mother races through the hallways, stopping at every rug shop in sight to search for Judy, Çetin is in hot pursuit outdoors. This whole suspenseful search goes on for far too long, as far as movies are concerned. Then, in a flash of genius, Çetin knows what has happened to poor little Judy! She is drowning in the sea! Obviously, this calls for a jetski action scene, in which Cetin rides onto the scene, dramatically belly flops into the water, and does the most clumsy free style to get to Judy. In the end, all is well, Judy is saved, and we've learned our lesson.

That was the movie. It was amazing. Such character development.

Çetın had been in and out while we were watching, and every once in a while we would turn to each other with looks of absolute bewilderment on our faces. When Çetin joined us again at the end of the film, we really didn't know what to do. "You like?" he said. "It was beautiful", Elissa said with great sincerity. She didn't know what else to say. Çetın told us that he had shot the movie in only two days in Anatolia. And there had been no screenplay. It has all come from his head. But he wondered, could this film win Sundance? He informed us it had already been accepted, but there were a hundred films, and he knew the competition would be stiff.
Since the film was such a treat, we were delighted when Çetin offered to introduce us to a very famous Turkish actress who had starred in many films. He ran outside and returned with his nine-year-old niece who then performed a scene in the middle of the carpet shop. "Get ready for school", Çetin yelled at her. "Noooo", she said sleepily from the floor, rolling over dramatically onto her other side and curling up into a little ball. The rest of the scene continued in mix of English and Turkish, but one thing was for certian, she did not want to go to school.

"Bravo!" we cried when they were done.

"Come! Eat", Çetin offered, leading over to the restaurant next door.

Over soup, bread, dolma and dessert, Çetin told us that, believe it or not, he had never attended film school and was entirely self-taught. In fact, he was also a self-taught actor who had honed his craft by watching "A Streetcar Named Desire" 650 times. He's counted. (Clearly, the "Juddyyyyy" was a tribute to "Stellllaaa").

After we had assured Çetin that his film would have a solid chance at Sundance he invited us to live with his sister for three months in her mansion on the Bosphorous. But wait, there's just one catch. You see, since Çetin had decided that Elissa was a world renowned acting coach with deep connections to the Hollywood scene, she would be the perfect teacher for his little niece. In fact, he would send his niece to live with Elissa in New York or Los Angeles, or wherever she may be. Elissa would of course feed her and raise her as her own. And one day, she would be a star.
As we left, Çetin kissed us on both cheeks and made us swear that we would help to bring he and his family great fortune and fame in America. He promised to visit and we are now both anticipating the arrival of a small Turkish child on our doorsteps...

The most amazing city ever

All of my friends from the Bahaus hostel in Istanbul.

Ok, I know that it is early in my trip to start making these kind of judgments. And I know that I have been using superlatives a little too much lately. But seriously, Istanbul is the coolest city in the world. Nothing else is going to compare. I should just stop traveling now. But seriously, it is really not what I expected. You may ask, well Elissa, what did you expect? And I will probably sound like a completely narrow-minded Westerner when I tell you that I guess I thought it would be stuffy and dark and crowded and full of orange stucco buildings. And I'd walk through the streets singing "Gotta keep...one jump ahead of the riff raff..." Isn't it sad how all of our misconceptions come from movies? Anyway, there is some orange stucco, it's true. But this city is airy and bright and BEAUTIFUL.

Kristen and I got in yesterday afternoon, and proceeded to take an unplanned tour of the city. We are staying in Sultanamet, the old part of town, but at the airport we accidentally got on a bus going to Taksim, the new neighborhood north across the Bosphorus river. The European part of Istanbul is basically two peninsulas: the bottom one is hamburger style and the top is hot dog (if you ever folded paper in elementary school, you know what I'm talking about). The two peninsulas are separated by the Bosphorus River, a bright and shining river that really is blue. Basically, we got on this bus and drove along the southern coast of the lower peninsula, along the Sea of Marmara, and then cut up through a neighborhood called Aksaray and took the Bosphorus bridge up into Taksim. Along the coast, it reminded me of Tel Aviv. There are amazing little neighborhoods and huge hotels, separated from a grassy beach by a wide road. Cutting up through the city, we passed turn offs into neighborhoods with streets that looked like they were out of a movie set. Everything looks so new and shiny and cosmopolitan. We crossed the Bosphorus bridge, and wound up through the newer neighborhood to Taksim Square. In Taksim, we decided to catch a taxi back down to Old Town, so we quickly hailed a cab, decided on a price, and proceeded to be taken the long way back. This time, we drove west (the wrong way) along the southern coast of the upper peninsula. We were on a big wide street that felt like the Embarcadero in San Francisco, except instead of piers there are hundred years old mosques. It is stunning. We crossed a different bridge further west and snaked our way back east past the Spice Bazaar and finally into Sultanamet. All in all, it took us about an hour to make our journey from the airport to our hostel. And it probably should have taken about twenty minutes. But what a way to begin, taking in the sights of Istanbul.

I suppose it would help all you readers if I could post some pictures to illustrate the sights I speak of. Kristen has figured out how to do this on the hostel computers, and at some point soon I will have her enlighten me. So much more to say about this city so I will write soon. There are tales of naked women with saggy boobs scrubbing me in the Turkish baths, and men who sit in front of their carpet shops all day shouting that they love us. It is also Ramadan, a really exciting time to visit, because the whole city comes out at night to eat and celebrate. What a wonderful place. I'm sure at some point I will direct a new and cutting edge musical about Istanbul, and it will have made sense that I wrote this part of the trip off.

But now I'm going to go eat some Turkish dumplings with a group of people from my hostel.

Elissa

PS- I forgot to mention in my previous post about New York why that part of the vacation should be tax deductible. But I guess it's kind of obvious. Of course I'm going to marry Lin Manuel Miranda, he's going to write a musical about a Latino and a Jew living together in New York City, I'm going to direct it, and it's going to win another Tony. And of course none of that would have been possible without this trip. Totally worth a tax deduction.

Leaving New York City!

Oh my goodness, friends, the last week has been a wild ride. It's kinda crazy that I started off my trip by coming to the city where I'll probably be living very soon. New York takes on a different quality when you start looking at it as a New Yorker (and the Zach, the conductor in the pit at In The Heights said that one is officially a New Yorker when you start giving people directions, which I've done! So I'm a New Yorker without even living here yet! Or, just a visitor with a good sense of direction...) Speaking of In The Heights, I won the lottery yesterday afternoon, and saw it with my friend Dani. We sat in the front row DEAD CENTER, which is why we became friends with Zach. THIS IS THE BEST SHOW EVER. Ok, I shouldn't say that perhaps. I haven't seen every show ever. But it is so beautiful, so moving, so genre-bending while still being structurally a musical, and so visceral. Lin Manuel Miranda, possibly the most beautiful human being ever (ok, I also haven't met every human being), was making eye contact with me and Dani the whole time. So we waited by the stage door and when he came out, we told him that we felt like the luckiest audience members ever, and he said to us:

"Aw! You guys were the cutest audience members ever!"

(I'm guessing Lin Manuel has also not met every audience member of every show ever....)

BUT STILL!!

I'm going to marry him. My life is complete. Or, maybe I'll just go on a whim and hop on a plane to Istanbul this afternoon. Whatd'ya say?

I miss all you crazy kids in LA!!

More anon,
Elissa

PS- XANADU IS ALSO THE BEST EVER. Dan Knechtges, you rock.

The plan

I'm doing the first part of the trip with my friend Kristen Scott:

September 3-8 New York City
September 9-12 Istanbul
September 13 Kusadasi, Turkey
September 13-14 Samos, Greece
September 14-17 The Greek Isles
September 17-19 Athens
September 20 Lake Ohrid, Macedonia
September 21 The Bay of Kotor, Montenegro
September 22-25 Dubrovnik, Croatia
September 25 Split, Croatia
September 26-29 Venice/Padua to visit my brother Davey

And then on the morning of Sept 29, Kristen and I meet up with Michael Schwartz in Munich and we do:

September 29-October 1 Munich (Oktoberfest!)
October 2 Salzburg- yes, we're going to do the Sound of Music Tour
October 3-8 Prague
October 8-11 Vienna (Michael has set up an appointment for us to watch an acting class in Vienna, so I've decided that's the official reason I'm writing off my plane ticket)
October 11-14 Budapest

back to SFO!

I also just signed up for couch surfing today, (www.couchsurfing.com- you should check it out!) so it looks like we may be having some fun adventures on couches throughout Eastern Europe. Can't wait!

I'm writing this whole thing off.

I call the last year of my life my year of "assisting dangerously," a phrase that I borrow lovingly from one of my mentors. You could also call it my personal grad school if you like. I've spent the year getting coffee and lunches, observing rehearsals and taking notes for a variety of different plays. In the meantime I've worked at two different restaurants and repeatedly dodged taking a full time job. And through it all, I've managed to save a small chunk of money. Thanks Mom and Dad :).

The excuse for this trip is that my brother is studying abroad in Padua, and I want to visit him. But really, this whole thing has blossomed into an opportunity to see the world, spend all of the money I have to my name, and learn more about myself as a human being (yes, this is the twenty-something "finding myself" trip- me and my travel partner Kristen both admit it!) This trip also marks the beginning of what seems like it will be a fairly prolonged nomadic stage in my life. I have lots of ideas of things I want to do with my career in the next few years, and a few leads that may or may not pan out. But either way, it looks like I'll be living in Los Angeles, New York, and elsewhere in spurts of time over the coming years. So this trip is an opportunity to learn how to live out of a backpack, how to eat and sleep for cheap, and how to go where the road takes me. All important lessons for life and for a career. And for that reason, I'm writing the whole thing off.

PS- Don't show this to the IRS.